Separation is one of the most stressful experiences a person can go through. There’s no single “right” way to handle it, but knowing the practical steps can help you make clear decisions at a time when everything feels overwhelming.
1. Prioritise safety first
If you or your children are at risk of harm, your safety comes before everything else. Call 000 in an emergency. 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) offers confidential support, and we can help you act quickly on protection orders and urgent parenting arrangements.
2. You don’t need to be living apart to be separated
You can be living under the same roof and still separated.
3. Sort out arrangements for the children
Children’s wellbeing is the focus of the law. Where possible, agree on interim arrangements for who the children live with and when they spend time with each parent. If you can’t agree, the next step is usually family dispute resolution (mediation) before applying to a court, unless an exception such as family violence applies. Written parenting plans or consent orders can give both parents certainty.
4. Protect your financial position
Without panicking or acting hastily:
- Gather financial documents: bank statements, loan details, superannuation statements, tax returns and property valuations
- Keep paying essential bills and the mortgage if you can
- Avoid large transactions, such as selling assets or taking on new debt, without advice
- Consider opening an account in your own name for your income
- Check access to joint accounts and redraw facilities
5. Property settlement isn’t automatic
Your property is not divided just because you’ve separated. A property settlement can be formalised through consent orders or a binding financial agreement, and time limits apply. Divorced couples generally have 12 months from the date the divorce takes effect, and de facto couples have 2 years from separation. Superannuation is often a major asset and can be split as part of the settlement.
6. Divorce is a separate step
Divorce only ends the marriage legally. To apply, you need to have been separated for at least 12 months. It’s separate from parenting and property matters, and you don’t need to wait for the divorce to sort those out.
7. Review your estate planning
Separation doesn’t automatically change your will or your superannuation nominations. It’s worth reviewing these sooner rather than later, along with powers of attorney and beneficiary details.
8. Look after yourself
Lean on friends and family, and consider speaking with a counsellor or your GP. Making good decisions is much easier when you’re supported.
How Rafton Family Lawyers can help
Every separation is different. Our team can explain your options, protect your interests and work towards practical outcomes, whether that’s through negotiation, mediation or, where needed, court. We have offices across NSW, including Richmond and Glenmore Park/Penrith.